Why we should talk more about mental health

Trigger Warning: Suicide

We never quite get the opportunity to hear from those who have attempted suicide. Here's what people who have suicidal thoughts or die from suicide are NOT: weak, selfish, and dishonorable. Here's what they are: human beings who deserve love and respect regardless of their illness becoming fatal.

One fourth of our population in the United States struggles with a mental health related issue. Over 400,000 people take their own life every year, and 90% have a diagnosable mental health disorder at the time of their death. As suicide and mental illness become a trending topic due to the prevalence of celebrities dying by suicide we attach the phenomena to simply #trending while thousands are dying behind closed doors. Mental health and suicide are incredibly important topics to focus on, but stigma prevents discussion and rehabilitation.

You never really know what mental illness is like until you go through it. You never really know what having these thoughts are like until they consume your mind and you no longer feel like you can find relief. Here's the thing about human beings: as long as we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, we can get through anything. As soon as that light becomes dimmer and eventually disappears, we no longer have the motivation to live.

Until you have attempted to commit suicide in its truest form with the intent of dying and knowing that there is a rare chance of you surviving, you will never know what that moment is like. Mental illness is just like any other illness and we must treat it as such so we can help those who are living with it (suicide is part of this).

But, how can we help?

1. Check in on your peers and I really mean check in on them. The idea of small-talk is so detrimental to our society that I say, fuck that. Oftentimes, we ask people how they're doing in passing without sitting down and having a fuller and deeper conversation. "I'm fine" is an instinctive response we are socialized to say when people ask about our well-being. Let's break that barrier down together.

2. If you know someone is struggling, offer to help. While there is only so much we can do without becoming an actual psych expert -- being a shoulder to cry on, a safe-space to discuss feelings, and an all-around friend can actually help. Instead of doing what you think will help, ask. "What do you need?" The most common mistake helpers often make is thinking you know everything and you don't. Learn more through conversation.

3. Ask the question, "are you suicidal?" Too often, people may think someone is going down that path, but are too scared to ask due to suicide being taboo in our cultures. The worst that can happen is that someone may become offended and it is easily managed by having a restorative conversation around caring for their safety. In other cases, someone may lie. If the response is "no," it should always be followed by an "are you sure?"

4. Avoid dismissive thoughts and behavior. Thinking that someone doesn't have it that bad or needs to get over an experience that is very real is not only the wrong approach -- it's also being a giant asshole. If you feel as if your very wrong opinions about mental health will get in the way of helping out a friend, please refer them to local resources which are easily found on Google.

5. Research. Research. Research. The only way to break down the stigma is to learn about it and then talk about it. Comment under your ignorant friend's Facebook post and cite #facts. Confront your ignorant family member who says their child is just faking it to get out of school. Don't ever be a bystander and always call for help when it's needed. Remember, these conversations and confrontations will save lives.

6. Lastly (but not really because there are so many things we can do), if you have gone through any of these struggles -- talk about it. I know how hard it may be at first and the fear of judgment and discrimination is very real, but we can't just keep talking about hypotheticals. Currently, people who do not live this experience often weigh in and control the conversation when it should be the other way around. Obviously, this is a task to take on when you're ready and when you're ready, I'll be there.

Experiencing these situations in my own personal life has been tough, but I am eternally grateful because it has taught me to be compassionate to everyone. I've seen the horrible sights of many suicide attempts and I've wrestled with people I loved who just wanted to die to keep them alive. For those struggling with mental illness, always remember that you can still live a fulfilling life. It's taken me a lot of trial and error, but I'm still growing and glowing! You can too.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please tell someone — anyone. I know it is definitely difficult when you have to physically and mentally choose life every single day, but I just want to let you know that it's worth it!

Anyone reading this, I am so happy that you choose life every single day. For those who have had a failed suicide attempt, I am so happy you are still here today and continue to be a WARRIOR. If you need anyone to talk to no matter the time, I AM HERE.

Physical or mental, it's still medical #EndTheStigma

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

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